Realisation...

I was so sad this morning thinking about my paper...as in...now when i think of the questions...I know how to answer it...but i dono why I just couldnt think...I think I know whats the reason...I think i'm overstressing myself to perform...to the extent in which I CANT perform...due to the undue pressure i'm putting on myself...to maintain my CAP...haiz...I have fought SO hard to pull my CAP up to the 2nd upper range...I cant afford to let it drop! I think that is the major reason for the stress i'm putting on myself...but its not doing me any good...in fact...its causing me to underperform!! my mum was telling me to just try my best...& whether I get 2nd upper or lower it doesnt matter...as long as I pass...BUT...I have to account to myself...I want to get my 2nd upper...arghhhh...I think I shouldnt pressure myself to this extent...its really making me hate what i'm doing now...its like...I also feel the stress to do well for my dissertation since its 8MC as it is a crucial aspect to securing my honours class...& its gotten to the extent...I'm not even looking forward to my dec hols cos I don even want to have to do my dissertation =S yesh..its that bad...